How to cope when life doesn’t go as planned. Life rarely goes according to plan. I used to think I could make a plan, work hard, and accomplish what I’d set out to do. I’m a planner. I like routines and consistency. I like to know what’s going to happen. I like it […]
Guilt keeps many people stuck in dysfunctional or codependent relationships because they prioritize other people’s needs and happiness above their own. Generally, we hope or expect that relationships will last forever. We idealize close family ties, soulmates, and decades-long friendships. But sometimes this unrealistic expectation – that our relationships should last forever — […]
Healing from an unhealthy or toxic relationship involves learning to trust yourself again. Unhealthy relationships erode your ability to trust yourself Unhealthy or toxic relationships can destroy your trust in others. For example, if your partner cheated on you or called you derogatory names, it makes sense that you may have trouble trusting […]
What is toxic shame? Shame is often confused with guilt. Sometimes we use the terms interchangeably, but they mean different things. Guilt is the bad feeling you have when you’ve done something wrong. And if you’ve actually done something wrong, like run into your neighbor’s car, then you should feel bad. Guilt, in this situation, […]
Increase happiness Are you feeling discouraged about your health, your job, or the political climate in our country? Are you worried about a loved one who is struggling? Do you feel stuck in a toxic or unfulfilling relationship? Are you lonely or wondering if you’ll ever find the one? You’re certainly not alone in […]
Are you quick to blame yourself – even for things you didn’t do or couldn’t control? When things go wrong, is your immediate response “it’s all my fault” or “I shouldn’t have done that”? For many of us, self-blame and criticism are insidious. We’re unrelenting with our demands and expectations and we’re our own […]
Whether you’re healing from a traumatic event, coping with yet another depressive episode, or trying to become a better parent, you know that progress rarely happens in a straight line. Intentional growth and healing are the results of hard work – often over an extended period of time. Positive changes don’t “just happen” and […]
Boundaries are a form of self-care—they protect us physically and emotionally. But many of us feel guilty when we prioritize our needs, set boundaries, and practice self-care. So, in this article I’ll help you let go of feeling guilty and recognize that it’s healthy to ask for what you need and set boundaries to keep […]
Life can be hard. We all screw up sometimes. We get frustrated and lose our temper. We regret things said or left unsaid. Our children struggle with learning disabilities or anxiety or any number of things. We hurt deep inside about harm caused to us as children. Our loved ones die. We get laid-off […]
Why do you feel unworthy? So many of us feel unworthy. We feel like we’re not good enough, like we don’t fit in, and like we don’t matter. We’re overly self-critical, fixating on our flaws and failures. We think we need to be perfect and successful in order to have value. For years we’ve […]