perfectionism

11 Characteristics of Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

Growing up in a dysfunctional family has a lasting impact on us. Many adult children of dysfunctional families underestimate the effects of being raised in a dysfunctional family. Perhaps it’s wishful thinking. Perhaps it’s denial. More likely it’s shame and simply not knowing that adult children of dysfunctional families, as a group, tend to struggle …

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6 Defining Symptoms of Codependency

We use the term codependency rather loosely these days. It’s great that more people are familiar with codependency, but if it’s going to help us understand ourselves in a meaningful way, we need to be clear about what codependency is – and what it isn’t. In a nutshell, people who identify as codependent usually play …

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Adult Children Dysfunctional Families Need for Control

Feeling out of control is scary for most people, but even more so for adult children. The term adult children (or adult child) refers to individuals that grew up in dysfunctional families. This includes having parents, caregivers, or close family members who struggled with substance use, mental health issues, rage, narcissistic behaviors, or were abusive. …

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How to Develop Self-Worth after Childhood Trauma

Do you find it difficult to feel good about yourself? Do you compare yourself to others and feel defective, inferior, or inadequate? When you don’t have a strong sense of self-worth, it can be hard to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, ask for a raise, or have healthy, satisfying relationships with others. In this article, you’ll …

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Link between codependency and perfectionism

People who struggle with codependency, tend to struggle with perfectionism as well. To understand the connection, let’s start by taking a look at what perfectionism is and isn’t. What is perfectionism? Perfectionism isn’t striving for excellence. It’s an unrealistic and unrelenting expectation that you’ll excel at everything, always do and say the “right” thing, and …

Codependency and Perfectionism: Learn to Love Your Imperfect Self Read More »

woman cleaning perfect kitchen

Do you have unrealistically high expectations? Do you expect perfection from yourself and others? Are you frequently disappointed that things don’t go as planned? Are you exceptionally hard on yourself? Do you feel like no matter what you do, it’s never good enough? These are all signs of perfectionism. Perfectionists set impossibly high standards for …

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Gratitude during difficult times

Gratitude doesn’t always come easy When times are tough—and you’re feeling discouraged, alone, anxious, or angry—it’s hard to be grateful. We know we’re supposed to feel grateful. It’s Thanksgiving time after all. But you may be having a hard time tapping into gratitude right now.   Perhaps you’re out of work or you dread seeing your …

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frustrated woman

Note: This article is about adult children of alcoholics (commonly abbreviated as ACAs or ACOAs). However, the dynamics that are described apply to adults who grew up in an array of dysfunctional circumstances, including those with parents who were mentally ill, abusive, or addicted to other substances. Feeling out of control is scary for most …

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why some people won't take responsibility

Do you know someone who refuses to take responsibility for their mistakes or wrongdoings? Or perhaps, you’re the one who struggles to admit when you’re wrong. Sometimes it’s hard to admit that we’ve done something wrong or made a mistake. And it’s challenging to deal with others who repeatedly deny responsibility and blame others. Why …

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journal and pen

Do you criticize yourself constantly? Or think that everything you do is wrong—while rarely noticing what you do right? If so, targeted journaling can help you let go of self-criticism, create balance in your life, and set realistic expectations. This article provides a set of journal prompts for perfectionism and self-criticism to help you get …

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