Some boundaries should never be crossed. Learn when to compromise—and when to hold firm with your boundaries. Not all behaviors should be tolerated in your relationships. We set boundaries to let others know what we expect and how we want to be treated. But what happens when an important boundary is crossed? We need to …
Many families experience estrangement. Sometimes an estrangement lasts a lifetime and other times family members reconcile and either put aside their differences or forge a stronger relationship. An estrangement can be a complete cutoff of all communication (no contact) or a partial cutoff where one person makes a consistent effort to limit contact or emotional …
It can be hard to understand why adult children cut ties with a parent. This is usually because we assume that parent-child relationships are not only important but functional. Family is forever. Blood is thicker than water. These sayings reflect our assumptions that family relationships are close and long-lasting. Parent-child relationships, in particular, are expected …
Self-care is the act of doing something that increases your health and wellbeing. Self-care restores your energy and “fills you up” emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It’s treating yourself with love and compassion. Self-care helps prevent burnout and is an essential part of living a healthy, happy life. But some people have a hard time doing …
Unspoken Family Rules: Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, Don’t Feel Rigid family rules and roles develop in dysfunctional families that help maintain the dysfunctional family system and allow family members to continue mistreating each other. Understanding some of the characteristics of dysfunctional families can help us break free of these patterns and rebuild our self-esteem and …
“Why is my childhood still affecting me? Shouldn’t I be over it by now?” Amy, aged 37, asked me at her first therapy session. “I feel like I’m complaining,” she said ashamedly. “I’m sure other people have bigger problems — real problems. I feel silly coming to therapy to talk about getting over painful childhood …
Shouldn’t I Be Over My Painful Childhood by Now? Read More »
Codependents are often caretakers, which is a great quality—except we tend to do it at our own expense, and often when help isn’t wanted or needed. The result is a codependent pattern of rescuing, resenting, and regretting. Learn to break this pattern and stop rescuing and enabling. Codependent rescuing Rescuing is an unhealthy version of …
I’ve gathered all of my resources for coping with the holidays here for easy access. If you’re having a hard time, I hope you’ll find some support and guidance to help you through the challenges that often come with the holidays. Articles Holiday Self-Care: Coping with Stress and Difficult Family Members 6 Things You Can …
Note: This article is about adult children of alcoholics (commonly abbreviated as ACAs or ACOAs). However, the dynamics that are described apply to adults who grew up in an array of dysfunctional circumstances, including those with parents who were mentally ill, abusive, or addicted to other substances. Feeling out of control is scary for most …
Adult Children of Alcoholics and the Need to Feel in Control Read More »
Are you a codependent parent? Do you have an enmeshed relationship with your adult child? Codependency can be a problem in any type of relationship. However, it can be especially hard to spot in parent-child relationships. In this article, we’ll explore symptoms of a codependent parent-child relationship and ways to create a healthier relationship with …
