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Awareness leads to acceptance
If you have toxic parents, please remember that it’s not your fault. No matter how much they try to blame you, your parents aren’t “difficult” because of anything you did.
Recognizing that your parents have significant problems, and are unlikely to change, paves the way to acceptance. And when we accept people as they are, we free ourselves from the struggle to try to change them. We can grieve the loss of the kind of parent-child relationship that we wished for.
Acceptance is very helpful in restoring your peace of mind. But even still, it’s very stressful to have toxic parents and you need strategies to help you cope with your parents’ dysfunction. Stay tuned! In my next post, I’ll be sharing some tips for coping with toxic parents and breaking codependent patterns.
©2018 Sharon Martin, LCSW. All rights reserved.
Photo courtesy of Unsplash.com.
Reading list
- Toxic Parents by Susan Forward
- Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson
- Cutting Ties with Toxic Family Members by Sharon Martin
- 10 Ways to Free Yourself from Toxic Parents by Sharon Martin
- How to Set Boundaries with Toxic People by Sharon Martin

Free yourself from codependent patterns
Navigating the Codependency Maze provides concrete exercises to help you manage anxiety, detach with love, break through denial, practice healthy communication, and more. It was written by Sharon Martin, a psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience helping people overcome codependency, people-pleasing and perfectionism and find their way back to themselves. For more info and to view sample pages, click HERE.
8 thoughts on “15 Signs You Have a Toxic Parent”
Dear Sharon,
Thank you so much for this article. For longest time I was living with guilt because I had to limit my contact with my parents because they had been emotionally and verbally abusive towards me since I was a child. Now that I’m an adult in my 30s I finally have the courage to take control and I know in order to heal and live a happy life I have to put some space and boundaries between my toxic parents and I. But still I feel guilty from time to time ,like now when it’s close to the holidays Seasons. That’s why I’m reading up on toxic parents and ways to heal on the internet and found your article. My parents ticked all Thd boxes and exhibit all the signs of toxic parents mentioned in your article. Reading your article it reminds me why I’m putting distance and boundaries and I should not feel guilty.
No need to feel guilty. Protecting yourself from abusive people is healthy and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it!
Hi,my folks pretty much tick all the boxes.Am not old enough to live without their support but I try to least involve myself with them as I mostly end up feeling really bad.They have insulted me ever since I was small and I’m slowly healing as I get older(currently 21).Hope others going through this are able to accept how the parents are so that they start healing
Dr. Shefali is an amazing strength/knowledge resource also, similar to this page but her facebook updates are often very soothing and empowering, and hard to argue with ?
Thank you for this article, my mother is the epitome of a toxic parent. I’m 48 & still haven’t found the courage to get her out of my life. She has tried so hard to destroy me, why can’t I say no and get lost to her once and for all?
Hi, im only starting this journey of discovery and my male best friend had a similar upbringing. Difference between us is ive a small family and no one believes me, his sister got it as bad as him so he has a family member to ground him. So just wanted to ask are you alone in your understanding/realisation or do u have someone to validate how you feel?
every points is my mother’s, i have so many bad feeling-guilty of myself, makes me tremble and fragile. I even dont know anymore what should i do.
It is always my fault, and i am a bad daughter.
how to know if i have a toxic child with same tendencies as a toxic parent above