Toxic Family Quiz - Live Well with Sharon Martin

Did you grow up in a "toxic" or dysfunctional family?

Find out with this short quiz. It only takes a few minutes to complete.

For each question, rate how often you experienced the circumstances described. The term “parents” is used for simplicity. Please substitute grandparents or caregivers as appropriate.

This quiz is for adults ages 18 years and older.

My parents were harsh, mean, or critical with each other, me, or other family members.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

Family members bullied, ridiculed, demeaned, or humiliated each other.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents ignored me and my emotional needs.

For example, they didn’t console you when you were in pain or notice when you were upset.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

There were frequent conflicts among family members.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents or other family members took their anger out on me or others by lashing out with rage or passive-aggressive behaviors.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

Home felt scary, chaotic, or unpredictable.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents had untreated substance use or mental health problems.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents ignored or denied problems, which only made them worse.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

I was physically, emotionally, or sexually abused or witnessed others being abused.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents did not protect me or other children from abuse. Or they sided with the perpetrator when they became aware that a child had been abused.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My family looked good to outsiders but in reality had many problems or secrets.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

The rules in my family were lax and inconsistent OR rigid and harsh.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents treated family members in noticeably different ways.

For example, one child was the clear favorite and another was the scapegoat.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

I had to take on some of my parents’ responsibilities (such as caring for siblings, paying bills, or cooking) because they were unable, unwilling, or physically absent. Or they relied on me for emotional support, treating me like a therapist or friend.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents were self-centered and put their own needs and wants before others’.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents engaged in lying, cheating, manipulating, gaslighting, blame-shifting, or scapegoating.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

I had to hide parts of my identity, my beliefs, goals, or ideas because my family would not accept them, and I would be ridiculed or rejected if they found out.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents refused to acknowledge the harm they’ve caused and the ways they contributed to family dysfunction or relational trauma.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents twisted the truth or manipulated people and situations to make themselves look good.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents were controlling or demanding and had unrealistic expectations that I couldn’t meet.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents violated my boundaries or would not allow me to assert my independence.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

My parents let me down when I needed them most.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

I had to “walk on eggshells” around one or more family members.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

I was exposed to adults engaging in sexual activity or drug use as a child. Or my parents encouraged me to smoke, drink, or use drugs as a child.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

I felt unwanted or like a burden.

Never

Rarely

Occasionally

Often

Very Often

None

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Please note: This quiz is designed to provide you with new insights about yourself. It has not been empirically validated and it is not intended to diagnose or treat any conditions or problems.

First Name

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Dr. Sharon Martin

Dr. Sharon Martin is a trauma therapist supporting adult children of dysfunctional families. She’s passionate about helping adults overcome the effects of narcissistic and emotional abuse, learn to set boundaries, and develop self-worth. She writes extensively about codependency, perfectionism, and healthy relationships, including the popular blog Conquering Codependency for Psychology Today. Dr. Martin is the author of four self-help books, including The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism and The Better Boundaries Workbook.