How to Change Codependent Thinking. In this article, you’ll learn about “codependent thinking” and how self-defeating beliefs can impede your recovery from codependency. You’ll learn how to recognize codependent thinking and replace it with positive self-talk. What is codependent thinking? Codependency refers to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person is focused on taking care …
What is self-esteem or self-worth? Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. It’s similar to the concept of self-worth (and I will use the terms interchangeably in this article). Our goal is to have high self-esteem, meaning we feel good about ourselves most of the time. We know we have intrinsic value. And we know …
If you struggle with codependency, wonder if you’re codependent, or just have questions about codependency, this post will give you an overview of codependency: What is codependency? What causes codependency? How to start recovering from codependency. What is codependency? Codependency is a focus on other people’s problems, feelings, needs, and wants while minimizing or ignoring your …
Self-care is the act of doing something that increases your health and wellbeing. Self-care restores your energy and “fills you up” emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It’s treating yourself with love and compassion. Self-care helps prevent burnout and is an essential part of living a healthy, happy life. But some people have a hard time doing …
Unspoken Family Rules: Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, Don’t Feel Rigid family rules and roles develop in dysfunctional families that help maintain the dysfunctional family system and allow family members to continue mistreating each other. Understanding some of the characteristics of dysfunctional families can help us break free of these patterns and rebuild our self-esteem and …
What’s the connection between codependency and boundaries? Below you’ll find a short video that I made discussing the link between codependency and boundaries, some bullet points to reinforce the main ideas, and some additional resources to aid in your understanding and support you in learning to set boundaries. Boundaries For this discussion, it’s important to …
“Why is my childhood still affecting me? Shouldn’t I be over it by now?” Amy, aged 37, asked me at her first therapy session. “I feel like I’m complaining,” she said ashamedly. “I’m sure other people have bigger problems — real problems. I feel silly coming to therapy to talk about getting over painful childhood …
Shouldn’t I Be Over My Painful Childhood by Now? Read More »
Codependency and anxiety go hand in hand. Codependents tend to worry and take on other people’s feelings and problems. This creates high levels of stress and anxiety that I refer to as “anxious codependency”. In this article you’ll learn about the connection between codependency and anxiety and how to reduce anxiety and manage codependent tendencies …
Do you have unrealistically high expectations? Do you expect perfection from yourself and others? Are you frequently disappointed that things don’t go as planned? Are you exceptionally hard on yourself? Do you feel like no matter what you do, it’s never good enough? These are all signs of that perfectionism. Perfectionists set impossibly high standards …
Codependents are often caretakers, which is a great quality—except we tend to do it at our own expense, and often when help isn’t wanted or needed. The result is a codependent pattern of rescuing, resenting, and regretting. Learn to break this pattern and stop rescuing and enabling. Codependent rescuing Rescuing is an unhealthy version of …