Black woman hugging child in front of Christmas tree. Text reads "8 tips to stay mentally healthy during the holidays"

The holidays tend to be a “season of stress” for many of us. There’s often too much to do, pressure to find and buy the perfect gifts, obligations to spend time with relatives who we’d rather not see, and an expectation that we will do it all with ease. And on top of that, you …

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Reasons for parent-child estrangement

It can be hard to understand why an adult child would cut ties with a parent. This is usually because we assume that parent-child relationships are not only important but functional. Family is forever. Blood is thicker than water. These sayings reflect our assumptions that family relationships are close and long-lasting. Parent-child relationships, in particular, …

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5 Reasons your boundaries aren't working

Are you struggling to set boundaries? Do you feel like you’re giving it your all, but your boundaries still aren’t working? In this article, I’ll review 5 common boundary-setting mistakes and offer some suggestions for setting better boundaries. First, a quick overview of what boundaries are and why we all need them. Boundaries are essential …

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self-talk for codependency recovery

How to Change Codependent Thinking. In this article, you’ll learn about “codependent thinking” and how self-defeating beliefs can impede your recovery from codependency. You’ll learn how to recognize codependent thinking and replace it with positive self-talk. What is codependent thinking? Codependency refers to an unhealthy relationship dynamic where one person is focused on taking care …

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How to Rebuild Self-Esteem after Narcissistic Abuse

What is self-esteem or self-worth? Self-esteem is how you feel about yourself. It’s similar to the concept of self-worth (and I will use the terms interchangeably in this article). Our goal is to have high self-esteem, meaning we feel good about ourselves most of the time. We know we have intrinsic value. And we know …

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codependency 101 photo of black woman studying

If you struggle with codependency, wonder if you’re codependent, or just have questions about codependency, this post will give you an overview of codependency: What is codependency? What causes codependency? How to start recovering from codependency. What is codependency? Codependency is a focus on other people’s problems, feelings, needs, and wants while minimizing or ignoring your …

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Black woman in white bathrobe. Text says "Self-Care and Codependency"

Self-care is the act of doing something that increases your health and wellbeing. Self-care restores your energy and “fills you up” emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It’s treating yourself with love and compassion. Self-care helps prevent burnout and is an essential part of living a healthy, happy life. But some people have a hard time doing …

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3 Characteristics of Dysfunctional Families

Unspoken Family Rules: Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, Don’t Feel Rigid family rules and roles develop in dysfunctional families that help maintain the dysfunctional family system and allow family members to continue mistreating each other. Understanding some of the characteristics of dysfunctional families can help us break free of these patterns and rebuild our self-esteem and …

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woman thinking. text reads "codependency and boundaries"

What’s the connection between codependency and boundaries? Below you’ll find a short video that I made discussing the link between codependency and boundaries, some bullet points to reinforce the main ideas, and some additional resources to aid in your understanding and support you in learning to set boundaries. Boundaries For this discussion, it’s important to …

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boy with head in arms. text reads: "shouldn't I be over my painful childhood by now?"

“Why is my childhood still affecting me? Shouldn’t I be over it by now?” Amy, aged 37, asked me at her first therapy session. “I feel like I’m complaining,” she said ashamedly. “I’m sure other people have bigger problems — real problems. I feel silly coming to therapy to talk about getting over painful childhood …

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