If you struggle with codependency, wonder if you’re codependent, or just have questions about codependency, this post will give you an overview of codependency: What is codependency? What causes codependency? How to start recovering from codependency. What is codependency? Codependency is a focus on other people’s problems, feelings, needs, and wants while minimizing or ignoring your …
Self-care is the act of doing something that increases your health and wellbeing. Self-care restores your energy and “fills you up” emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It’s treating yourself with love and compassion. Self-care helps prevent burnout and is an essential part of living a healthy, happy life. But some people have a hard time doing …
Unspoken Family Rules: Don’t Talk, Don’t Trust, Don’t Feel Rigid family rules and roles develop in dysfunctional families that help maintain the dysfunctional family system and allow family members to continue mistreating each other. Understanding some of the characteristics of dysfunctional families can help us break free of these patterns and rebuild our self-esteem and …
What’s the connection between codependency and boundaries? Below you’ll find a short video that I made discussing the link between codependency and boundaries, some bullet points to reinforce the main ideas, and some additional resources to aid in your understanding and support you in learning to set boundaries. Boundaries For this discussion, it’s important to …
“Why is my childhood still affecting me? Shouldn’t I be over it by now?” Amy, aged 37, asked me at her first therapy session. “I feel like I’m complaining,” she said ashamedly. “I’m sure other people have bigger problems — real problems. I feel silly coming to therapy to talk about getting over painful childhood …
Shouldn’t I Be Over My Painful Childhood by Now? Read More »
Codependency and anxiety go hand in hand. Codependents tend to worry and take on other people’s feelings and problems. This creates high levels of stress and anxiety that I refer to as “anxious codependency”. In this article you’ll learn about the connection between codependency and anxiety and how to reduce anxiety and manage codependent tendencies …
Codependents are often caretakers, which is a great quality—except we tend to do it at our own expense, and often when help isn’t wanted or needed. The result is a codependent pattern of rescuing, resenting, and regretting. Learn to break this pattern and stop rescuing and enabling. Codependent rescuing Rescuing is an unhealthy version of …
Are you guilty of giving unsolicited advice? Advice is usually intended to be helpful. And many of us (myself included) offer guidance and suggestions, even tell others what they should do, without being asked. Regardless of our intentions, giving advice that isn’t wanted, can be annoying, intrusive, and even manipulative. In this article, we’ll explore …
Unsolicited Advice: What It Is and How to Avoid It Read More »
Note: This article is about adult children of alcoholics (commonly abbreviated as ACAs or ACOAs). However, the dynamics that are described apply to adults who grew up in an array of dysfunctional circumstances, including those with parents who were mentally ill, abusive, or addicted to other substances. Feeling out of control is scary for most …
Adult Children of Alcoholics and the Need to Feel in Control Read More »
My new book, The Better Boundaries Workbook, will arrive in just a few weeks (November 1, 2021, in the U. S.). I’ve been working on this book for the last two years and I’m excited to share it with you. And to help you get excited, I’ve created some early-order gifts for you. Why pre-order? …
